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Kryten threw down the spanner and sighed. “There’s never enough time to do the repairs we need when I have all this extra paperwork to do,” he said, shaking his head. “Space-worthiness certificates, proof of pilot training, proof of manual handling training, cargo manifests…” The Cat smiled: “Why do we need to do all that paperwork? There’s no one left to check up on us! It’s just, you, me, Lister…” Kryten sighed: “And Rimmer.” “Ah!” The Cat said. “Rimmer. He’s making you adh

Blakey flashed Stan and Jack a filthy look. “You pair had better start taking this seriously,” he snapped. “The Luxton and District Motor Traction Company has to comply with all environmental legislation and we’re going for an ISO 14001 in environmental management, which is why we’re switching to electric vehicles. We need to reduce our pollution, improve the company’s reputation, and attract the right sort of contracts from organisations that expect us to do our bit to comba

Gavin put the phone down and shook his head. “We’re not ready. We’re just not ready,” he muttered, throwing in his coat and stalking out of the office. He walked down through the town to Barry Island, past Marco’s cafe, down to the makeshift grotto. Neil The Baby stood outside with fake antlers on his head. “All right Uncle Gavin?” he asked. Gavin shook his head: “Not really, Neil. Is your mum in?” Neil nodded: “She is, but you know the rules…” Gavin nodded back and handed ov

David Brent sighed and patted down the lapels of his suit jacket. Another day in Mega Electronics and just a few days before Black Friday. He stared into the camera: “It’s always busy this time of year, with people buying new TVs and PS5s and food mixers before Christmas. But we’re always ready in this store. “We’re like one big organism, one big animal, yeah? The guys upstairs in the office on the phone, they're the mouth. The guys down here on the sales floor, the han

Diles Price shouted at her son Norman: “Norman Price! How many times have I told you not to keep that fire door open? You can take that doorstop away right now!” Norman sighed: “But it’s a pain carrying everything in and out of our new flat, Mam! It takes twice as long to do anything!” Dilys opened the window and shouted down into the street where Fireman Sam, Elvis, and the Station Officer were clearing up after a training session. “Sam, can you come up here and talk some se

Cathy glared at Michelle. “Well, if you feel like that, Michelle, you won’t want to come to the luxury spa with us this weekend!” she snapped. Beth rolled her eyes. “Come on, Cathy, there’s no need for that!” Cathy humphed and said: “Colin and I are thinking of buying the spa franchise so we thought we’d try it out ourselves first. “I suppose it would be good to get your view on it Michelle, as a potential customer. It’s pointless asking Beth what she thinks!” Bet

Margot pulled on her rubber gloves and started to separate the recycling. Barbara peered over the fence. “You have a lot of plastic recycling there, Margot,” she said. Margot nodded. “Yes, far too much. Some of it can go back to Fortnum and Mason for recycling, but I watched that David Attenborough series recently and even I’m worried about the amount of plastic in our seas,” Margot replied. “I’ve a mind to write to Fortnum’s Chairman to ask him to do something urgently about

Wolfie Smith adjusted his beret and pulled on his coat. “Shirl! I’m off to my meeting…” he shouted. Shirley emerged from the kitchen. “Our Flo said she’d meet you there,” Shirley replied. Wolfie groaned. “How many times do I have to tell her? The Tooting Popular Front is not the forum for her little recycling project. We have a revolution to plan!” Shirley sighed. “Saving the planet is hardly a little recycling project, Wolfie. Besides, she’s your granddaughter. That apple di

Kryten looked up miserably at the monitor. The Cat shrugged and danced out of the control room. Rimmer smirked. Dave Lister sighed. “Look, Kryten, this is ancient Earth history we’re watching. It has nothing to do with us or Red Dwarf…” Rimmer smirked again: “Oh, I don’t know. The Earth Day target was for a reduction in plastics production of 60% by the year 2040. Of course, it took us a little while longer than that, but we achieved it! “So how come Kryten here is 62% plasti

Del Boy nudged Rodney’s elbow. “Just imagine it, Rodney. See it written on that van there…New York, Paris, Peckham, by appointment to His Majesty King Charles…Cushty…” Del looked into the distance, smiling. Rodney laughed: “You’ve really lost it this time, Del. You honestly think the king is going to allow you to put the royal coat of arms on our Trotters Independent Traders van! “I used to think you were on another planet when you told me we’d be millionaires one day!” Del l

Santa Scott hissed at his son, Charlie: “Stay down, son. I’ve used up all of my magic trying to find a Mrs Christmas because of the second Santa clause, and Toy Santa has already tied us up once. We need the element of surprise…” The elf army was hidden behind carts, in doorways and windows, and some were even camouflaged in the snow. Scott whispered: “Snowballs ready. On my command…NOW!” The elf army led by Bernard sprang into action, throwing the snowballs at Toy Sant

Thanks to the introduction of a brand new Standard, BS 8636:2023 Whisky - Use of analytical pararmeters and methods of analysis - Specification, the answer to "what's in a whisky" will be easier to answer, because it: Defines consistent best production practices for whisky, meaning that the quality and flavour will be the same for each new batch Empowers whisky distillers to trade internationally due to the ability to demonstrate that the product meets regulatory requirements

One of our Mango clients has been using the software since August 2022. The company chose to implement Mango because although they had...

The Finding The UKAS Logos on the Company website needs updating. The certificates for the delegates includes the obsolete UKAS logos...

The Finding Qualified contractors were not being used to control the risk of flying and crawling insects. There was no evidence available...

The Finding Since the last visit there has been quite an increase in the numbers of employees, but the Training Matrix does not identify...

The Finding The [most recent] management review fails to meet the requirements of all three standards. E.G. It fails to cover the...

The Finding The routine ppm is required to be weekly planned as per procedure QP-60.07 Rev 2 Preventative Maintenance and in current...

The Finding The IMS manual issue 2 specified the management representative being the operations manager, a position no longer on the...

The Finding No formal analysis of customer satisfaction data or reviewing trends to date, what will be done to improve etc. Some Context...