Kryten looked up miserably at the monitor.
The Cat shrugged and danced out of the control room.
Rimmer smirked. Dave Lister sighed.
“Look, Kryten, this is ancient Earth history we’re watching. It has nothing to do with us or Red Dwarf…”
Rimmer smirked again: “Oh, I don’t know. The Earth Day target was for a reduction in plastics production of 60% by the year 2040. Of course, it took us a little while longer than that, but we achieved it!
“So how come Kryten here is 62% plastic and 30% metal? Seems like a backwards step to me!”
Lister pulled his hat down over his eyes.
“What’s the point in worrying, Kryten? We’re the only ones left three million years later. Even Rimmer is part plastic thanks to the device that projects his hologram. Technically, only me and the Cat aren’t part plastic.”
The Cat danced past the door.
“Speak for yourself! I swallowed that bit of plastic from the end of my fishing pole teaser!” the Cat shouted.
Kryten shook his head.
“No, Mr Lister, it was an important move to help protect the planet launched on April 22nd 2024. Earth Day,” he said.
“We should still be doing our bit to help protect space from plastic pollution, too.
“I’ve been researching alternatives and have found some plant items that could substitute for some of my plastic on a nearby planet.”
Rimmer snorted.
“You could replace your giant head with a cauliflower! Or join your lower legs to your knees with vines…”
Lister sighed again.
“The thing is you’re already manufactured. We’d have to recycle your plastic bits. We may as well wait until they start wearing out.”
Kryten nodded.
Holly the computer added: “I’ve been researching this and there’s a lot of information on the international environmental standard they were working to in the 21st Century, ISO 14001.
“We should work through that. I found useful information cached in Red Dwarf’s memory banks from the Penarth Management website.
“I’m creating a hologram version of their consultant Jodie to help you. She’ll show you how to get Red Dwarf up to ISO standard with Mango…”
Rimmer snorted again.
“What? We’re replacing bits of Kryten with a fruit?”
Holly glared at him from her screen.
“No.”
Lister said: “Come on, Holly, ignore him. How do we use a mango?”
Holly glared again.
“Not the fruit. Mango the online compliance software. It keeps everything you need in one place, so it’s easy to see how the ship’s doing when it comes to reducing plastic production.”
Lister nodded.
“Ah, right. That makes more sense…”
Kryten added: “No searching through mounds of data for the relevant information! A good idea. I can’t wait to work with Ms Jodie!
“Now, someone had better tell those pesky nanobots to stop making plastic to repair me!”
Find out how Mango’s online compliance software could help your business meet its environmental goals. Book a free demonstration which will be delivered via Zoom. We can help you achieve the ISOs you need, too. Call Penarth Management on 029 2070 3328 or email info@penarth.co.uk