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Fred sighed and glared at Shaggy. “We’ve been hired by the town council to run this haunted English stately home for Halloween so we don’t have time to take the Mystery Machine into town to buy more Scooby snacks,” he explained wearily. “Why don’t you boys go off to the kitchen and make one of your enormous sandwiches instead?” Scooby said excitedly shouted: “Rooby rooby doo!” They padded out of the room and left Fred with the mountain of paperwork. “Food safety certificate f

Philomena Cunk looked blankly at Professor Brian Cox. “You’ve just told me the world’s going to end but you’re smiling. What’s wrong with you, Brian Cox?” she asked. Professor Cox laughed: “It’s a long time in the future. Neither of us will see it happen.” Cunk shrugged: “You don’t know that. They’re making amazing scientific discoveries all the time, aren’t they?” “Yeees,” Professor Cox replied, hesitantly. “They could find some AI-powered bot we could all get downloaded int

Jenny looked glumly at Adam over the top of her cocktail. "Yes, the job's going well…so well that I hardly ever see Pete or little Adam…and Pete's threatening to cancel Valentine's Day…" she said, sighing. "Well, little Adam's not so little now, is he? Even if you were at home all day, I suspect you'd barely see him. Maybe a grunt as he leaves the house in the morning," Adam said, cheerily. "And Pete's too much of an old softy to cancel Valentine's Day. He'll have bought the

Jim Hacker looked around at his new department. “So this is what the Ministry of Transport looks like,” he said, sighing. One minute you’re riding high in Number 10, the next you’re back to the coal face after a series of unfortunate scandals and a resignation letter that pledges loyalty to the party while stepping down as Prime Minister. His oily replacement had sent Bernard to tell him he’d been given the departmental poison chalice. “It’s a fantastic opportunity, minister,

Pete closed the lid of his laptop and looked glumly at Sue. “I thought we’d get some peace and quiet now they’ve all moved out, but they’re ALL coming back for Christmas…,” he said. “Lovely!” Sue replied. “Lovely? Where are they all going to sleep?” Pete asked. “They’ll have to stay in their old bedrooms,” Sue said, stirring the pot of pasta sauce on the stove. “In those single beds? With their partners? And Jake has the baby…and there’s your sister…,” Pete put his head in hi

Simon Casey put the file down on the desk and looked at the school secretary. “Come on, Liz, we all know you really run things in Summerdown Comprehensive. How many of these health and safety inspection firms do I really need to fill in and file? I don’t believe I need to do ten of each!” Liz grinned: “I’m sorry, Simon, but each head of department, each deputy head, the head, myself, and the LEA all need a copy. I appreciate it’s a lot of work, but I know that a man of your t

Gordon Brittas strode into Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre, polishing the door handle gently as he passed through it. “We can’t be too careful with cleanliness, Carole…,” he said, walking over to reception. “No, Mr Brittas,” said Carole. He clasped his hands behind his back, and pushed out his chest. On his blazer was a Team GB crest from the 2012 Olympics. “I’ll never forget my time coaching Britain’s elite athletes,” he said, wistfully. “Whenever the Olympics com

Desmond Ambrose looked wistfully at the sign above his Peckham barber shop. “Who would have thought that 40 years on, we’re about to sell our barber shop franchise with 27 outlets in the UK and the Caribbean?” he said. His wife Shirley smiled at him: “Desmond, it’s high time to retire. You built the business up from this one shop in Peckham to something you can be proud of. It’s helped the children and grandchildren get an education and set them up in their own careers.”

Sybil held the phone to her ear and said: “Ooh, I know!” At reception, Basil winced. “I KNOW! Ooh, yes, I know!” Sybil said again. Then, she laughed. Basil gritted his teeth. “I know you’re awfully busy in there, my sweet, but could you just pass me the new register so that our guest can sign it?” Basil smiled unnervingly at the guest. Sybil sighed and said: “Yes, I’ll call you next week. I have to go. Goodbye now!” She put down the phone and picked up the register, opening i

Gladys Pugh leaned into the microphone and breathed: “Hello campers. Hi de hi!” All around the Maplin’s campsite the reply rang out: “Ho de ho!” Gladys tapped the microphone and said: “Today, our entertainment will begin after lunch as our entertainment staff are undertaking important training to keep you safe. “Please join us at the pool at 2.30pm for the knobbliest knees competition hosted by our own Ted Bovis followed by the children’s swimming club gala, then a poolside e

“Toula!” Toula jumped when she heard her father’s shout. “Papa, what’s wrong? Have you run out of Windex?” Gus Portokalos looked up from the newspaper at his daughter. He couldn’t work out if she was really concerned or just teasing him. “Hmm! I never run out of Windex, Toula, you should know that!” Gus brought up a spray bottle from under the table and sprayed her hand. “I’ll get rid of whatever that is on your thumb…” He sprayed her before she could pull her hand away. Toul

The compliance module within Mango is an ideal way to manage requirements associated with ISO Standards and legislation. Legislation...

The Finding Not all applicable compliance obligations have been identified. The Register of Environmental Aspects and Environmental...

The Finding Some items are PAT tested more frequently than strictly necessary e.g copiers. HSE website gives suggested testing...

Buildings management comes with a big responsibility, whether you're managing a factory, hotel, housing assocition, office block,...

Many organisations really seem to struggle with managing legal compliance. First of all, there's working out what legislation applies in...

Compliance Register The traditional approach to managing legal compliance registers has historically been to use an Excel or Word based...

The minimum frequency for undertaking checks is defined in relevant legislation. For example, the Lifting Operations and Lifting...

Where do you begin? There is a lot of legislation in force already. New legislation is also being processed all the time. This can make...

Whether your organisation is considering or holds certification to quality, environmental, health and safety or information security...