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Sally winced as she said: “Now we go live to Damien Day on the touch line at the FA Cup Final. Who do you have with you, Damien?” Damien looked earnestly into the camera and replied: “Ted Bennett, the Chief Executive of Berkhampton FC is with us. Ted, what a journey it’s been for your team! The giant killers who got all the way to the final. How are you feeling?” Ted stared blankly: “Yeah. Good.” Damien coughed and added: “You’re up against one of the biggest teams in world f

Father Dougal kicked the ball hard at Father ‘Damo’ Lennon, who smacked it into an upstairs window at the parochial house. A flustered Mrs Doyle opened it, and shouted down: “Careful, Fathers! Father Jack is having his nap and none of us would want to wake him now, would we?” Dougal shook his head violently, remembering the last time Jack had been woken suddenly. “No, quite right there, Mrs Doyle! We don’t have the fishing net and rubber gloves to hand.” He turned to Father

Leslie Higgins sighed and looked at the sea of blank faces. “Martyn’s Law. We need to be ready for it,” he said, gesturing to the Power Point presentation on the screen in front of them. Ted nodded: “I agree, we need to be playing our part in keeping the fans of AFC Richmond, our staff, and the visiting teams and fans safe. Been reading up on it since the law got the Royal Assent…” He turned to Trent Crimm who was busy making notes in his reporter’s notebook… “…I love that th

“Sharon Eversleigh!” the man shouted as he turned the corner into the new Fenn Street School. Sharon turned and said: “I haven’t been Eversleigh for 45 years!” She stopped and looked at the man and asked: “Eric? Eric Duffy?” He nodded: “Haven’t seen you in 50 years!” Sharon laughed. Eric asked: “What are you doing back here?” Sharon replied: “My daughter’s the new head teacher.” Eric guffawed: “What a turn up for the books!” Sharon smiled: “What about you?” Er

Sister Michael winced as she saw Jenny Joyce appear in her doorway. “Yes, Jenny, what can I do for you?” she asked wearily. “It’s what I can do for YOU, Sister…” Jenny replied with an unsettling grin that made Sister Michael’s blood chill slightly. “Now, what could I be needing from you, Jenny?” she asked. Jenny grinned her unsettling grin again and Sister Michael said: “Stop that now, Jenny. It’s not natural…” Jenny shrugged: “Well, I know the school has to get rea

Lucy slammed her laptop shut and took a large swig from her glass of wine. Lee looked up: "All going well in children's party land, then?" Lucy snorted: "It was, until my prospective client decided he needed to see all my health and safety and DBS certificates since I started the company. That will mean me spending the next two hours digging them out of that pile of paperwork in my office." Lee nodded: "And by office, do you mean the spare room I haven't been able to get into

Jenny looked glumly at Adam over the top of her cocktail. "Yes, the job's going well…so well that I hardly ever see Pete or little Adam…and Pete's threatening to cancel Valentine's Day…" she said, sighing. "Well, little Adam's not so little now, is he? Even if you were at home all day, I suspect you'd barely see him. Maybe a grunt as he leaves the house in the morning," Adam said, cheerily. "And Pete's too much of an old softy to cancel Valentine's Day. He'll have bought the

Shona smiled coldly at Sebastian. “Well, some of us have already had extensive experience of filming instructional videos for Air Scotia, so it’s no surprise that I was chosen to front this latest staff training film,” she said, stomping off to the cockpit with Captain Duff’s coffee. “Oh dearie me!” said Sebastian and Steve in unison. Sebastian huffed: “She’s been swanning about Prestwick Airport like Catherine Zeta Jones in The Terminal. It’s all ‘how’s this lighting on my s

Jim Hacker looked around at his new department. “So this is what the Ministry of Transport looks like,” he said, sighing. One minute you’re riding high in Number 10, the next you’re back to the coal face after a series of unfortunate scandals and a resignation letter that pledges loyalty to the party while stepping down as Prime Minister. His oily replacement had sent Bernard to tell him he’d been given the departmental poison chalice. “It’s a fantastic opportunity, minister,

Blakey flashed Stan and Jack a filthy look. “You pair had better start taking this seriously,” he snapped. “The Luxton and District Motor Traction Company has to comply with all environmental legislation and we’re going for an ISO 14001 in environmental management, which is why we’re switching to electric vehicles. We need to reduce our pollution, improve the company’s reputation, and attract the right sort of contracts from organisations that expect us to do our bit to comba

Pete closed the lid of his laptop and looked glumly at Sue. “I thought we’d get some peace and quiet now they’ve all moved out, but they’re ALL coming back for Christmas…,” he said. “Lovely!” Sue replied. “Lovely? Where are they all going to sleep?” Pete asked. “They’ll have to stay in their old bedrooms,” Sue said, stirring the pot of pasta sauce on the stove. “In those single beds? With their partners? And Jake has the baby…and there’s your sister…,” Pete put his head in hi

Ernie strode through the theatre and stood in front of the stage. He turned around to face Eric. “This is the perfect place for the play what I wrote!” he said, beaming. Eric pushed up his glasses. “Technically, it’s the pantomime what you wrote…oh yes it is!” he replied. Ernie nodded: “Glenda Jackson’s signed on to play the Wicked Stepmother, and I’ve asked Andre Previn to play Buttons…” Eric laughed: “Mr Preview! And Angela Rippon is a high-kicking Fairy Godmother…all your

David Brent sighed and patted down the lapels of his suit jacket. Another day in Mega Electronics and just a few days before Black Friday. He stared into the camera: “It’s always busy this time of year, with people buying new TVs and PS5s and food mixers before Christmas. But we’re always ready in this store. “We’re like one big organism, one big animal, yeah? The guys upstairs in the office on the phone, they're the mouth. The guys down here on the sales floor, the han

Jackie put the jumper in her basket and thought: “Adam will love this. Now, where do I find the baby clothes for my new grandchildren?” She caught sight of herself beaming with pride in the nearby mirror…then saw a familiar face behind her. “Hello Jackie. You look nice,” Jim said. Taken aback, Jackie turned to her neighbour and replied: “Oh, hello Jim. Fancy seeing you here…” “Fancy seeing me here…” he said. After an awkward silence, Jackie said: “Doing a spot of Christmas sh

Crowley sighed and looked at all the piles of books in Aziraphale’s book shop. “How can you work like this? There’s paper everywhere!” Crowley said, gesturing around him. Aziraphale smiled weakly. “It’s my business!” he replied. Crowley snorted. “When was the last time you sold a book?” Aziraphale shifted uncomfortably. “1942,” he replied. Crowley laughed. “More book collection storage than shop, then!” Aziraphale sighed. “Now we’ve prevented the Apocalypse, I have no excuse,

Nadia stormed out of the house meeting and slammed the door. “I cannot believe that Laszlo!” she said, baring her vampire teeth. “I come in with some fantastic ideas about running the vampire theme park we’re building in England, and he just huffed and said he was leaving it all to some piece of fruit!” She transformed into a bat and flew out of the window. “I need some space away from my husband!” she shouted as she left. Colin Robinson opened the door, left the room, and sh

The huge, old, oak doors of Maladroit Manor creaked slowly open. Mrs De Vries, the owner, walked through them and motioned around the grand entrance hall. “Well, what do you think?” she asked. Adam Painting nodded and smiled at her. “Wonderful…so much history…Yes, of course our ghosts can create a truly terrifying experience for your visitors this Halloween!” Mrs De Vries sighed. “The staff and myself used to do it every year, but we find ourselves tied up with so much paperw

Sicknote gasped in exasperation and shrugged.“ I don’t know what to do, Jean. The Station Officer won’t give me the weekend off so I can sing the Pirate King in the Penge Occasional Players production of the Pirates of Penzance,” Sicknote said, slumping down into the armchair. Jean sighed. “Well, your understudy will have to do it. What’s so important that you have to be on shift with Blue Watch this weekend?” Sicknote laughed. “I have to visit theatres across the West End to

Pat beamed: “I just love the Olympics! The opening ceremony, the athletics, the swimming, the volleyball…” He turned to Alison and asked: “Can we watch all of it?” Alison laughed and nodded: “We’ll leave two TVs on day and night for you. Whatever you want to watch.” Julian snorted: “Bet he won’t want to watch the archery!” Pat sighed: “Actually, I will. I was always fond of it. I won’t be put off just because one scout shot an arrow through my neck and killed me.” Alison rais

Gordon Brittas strode into Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre, polishing the door handle gently as he passed through it. “We can’t be too careful with cleanliness, Carole…,” he said, walking over to reception. “No, Mr Brittas,” said Carole. He clasped his hands behind his back, and pushed out his chest. On his blazer was a Team GB crest from the 2012 Olympics. “I’ll never forget my time coaching Britain’s elite athletes,” he said, wistfully. “Whenever the Olympics com