Drop The Dead Donkey…but don’t forget Mango!

Sally winced as she said: “Now we go live to Damien Day on the touch line at the FA Cup Final. Who do you have with you, Damien?”

Damien looked earnestly into the camera and replied: “Ted Bennett, the Chief Executive of Berkhampton FC is with us. Ted, what a journey it’s been for your team! The giant killers who got all the way to the final. How are you feeling?”

Ted stared blankly: “Yeah. Good.”

Damien coughed and added: “You’re up against one of the biggest teams in world football with a huge history. Are your players going to be feeling the weight of that?”

Ted stared: “Bit…I suppose…they’ve got a good game plan and they’ll play their own match.”

Damien sighed: “If you pull off this upset, what will the feeling be like in the dressing room?”

Ted said: “Oh, over the moon, Damien…”

Back in GlobeLink News HQ, Dave was making the universal sign for cutting off a boring interviewee.

Damien heard Alex over his earpiece: “For goodness sake end this interview. Put it out of its misery!”

Damien smiled to camera and said: “Thanks, Ted. Back to you, Sally.”

The news anchor smiled and read out the autocue: “Thank you Damien. More from the build up to the big match in our 1pm bulletin. And that’s all for now.”

The studio lights went down as Joy shouted: “We’re clear!”

Sally sighed: “George, why can’t Henry anchor this football stuff? I can’t stand it. Give me Wimbledon any day!”

Dave handed George £5.

“Told you it would be the first thing she said,” George said triumphantly.

Dave glared: “Alright! Anyway, I’m dreading the editing in Damien’s piece about Martyn’s Law and how it will affect football stadiums…”

George smiled: “Fear not, we gave it to the new reporter Octavia. Thought she would give it a far better treatment, get to grips with the background. She’s researched the 2017 Manchester Arena bombing in the past and has been looking at the legislation that got the Royal Assent recently.”

Alex said: “That’s the anti-terror law that gives venues new legal duties to protect the public, isn’t it?”

George nodded: “Yes. Football clubs and stadiums will have to ensure they have detailed risk assessments, clear plans in the event something happens on the day, and effective staff training. Event organisers, too. It’s named after Martyn Hett who died in the Manchester attack and his mother has campaigned for it for years.”

Alex replied: “I know several football clubs are already talking to experts to find out how they can comply with the legislation. I don’t envy them the extra paperwork!”

Joy glared at her colleagues: “Oh come on, it’s not still the nineties! They need Mango…”

Dave snorted: “What’s that? A new designer soft drink?”

Joy looked at him with contempt: “It’s online compliance software. It’s called Mango. You access it wherever there’s an internet connection and all the documents are in the cloud. No piles of paperwork. 

“I sometimes forget how old you all are…”

George looked hurt: “I’m not THAT much older than you…”

Joy shrugged: “You just need to be someone in touch with young people. Someone who understands the assignment…”

George said: “Eh? What assignment?”

Joy sighed and Dave laughed. Alex handed him a £5 note.

“Told you!” Dave said.

• Find out how Mango’s online compliance software could help your football club comply with Martyn’s Law. Book a free demonstration which will be delivered via Zoom. We can help you with a Martyn’s Law assessment, too. Call Penarth Management on 029 2070 3328 or email info@penarth.co.uk