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Lucy slammed her laptop shut and took a large swig from her glass of wine. Lee looked up: "All going well in children's party land, then?" Lucy snorted: "It was, until my prospective client decided he needed to see all my health and safety and DBS certificates since I started the company. That will mean me spending the next two hours digging them out of that pile of paperwork in my office." Lee nodded: "And by office, do you mean the spare room I haven't been able to get into

Louisa looked across the table at her husband. He was gripping the newspaper and hiding behind it. "Martin…I asked what we're doing for Valentine's Day!" She sighed and shook her head. "I don't know why I bother…" she muttered. Martin coughed: "Umm, haven't had time to think about it. Taking the GP practice back on has meant a lot of paperwork. Staff training records need to be updated, patient records need refiling properly, and no one has cleaned the instruments in months."

Jenny looked glumly at Adam over the top of her cocktail. "Yes, the job's going well…so well that I hardly ever see Pete or little Adam…and Pete's threatening to cancel Valentine's Day…" she said, sighing. "Well, little Adam's not so little now, is he? Even if you were at home all day, I suspect you'd barely see him. Maybe a grunt as he leaves the house in the morning," Adam said, cheerily. "And Pete's too much of an old softy to cancel Valentine's Day. He'll have bought the

Shona smiled coldly at Sebastian. “Well, some of us have already had extensive experience of filming instructional videos for Air Scotia, so it’s no surprise that I was chosen to front this latest staff training film,” she said, stomping off to the cockpit with Captain Duff’s coffee. “Oh dearie me!” said Sebastian and Steve in unison. Sebastian huffed: “She’s been swanning about Prestwick Airport like Catherine Zeta Jones in The Terminal. It’s all ‘how’s this lighting on my s

Jim Hacker looked around at his new department. “So this is what the Ministry of Transport looks like,” he said, sighing. One minute you’re riding high in Number 10, the next you’re back to the coal face after a series of unfortunate scandals and a resignation letter that pledges loyalty to the party while stepping down as Prime Minister. His oily replacement had sent Bernard to tell him he’d been given the departmental poison chalice. “It’s a fantastic opportunity, minister,

Blakey flashed Stan and Jack a filthy look. “You pair had better start taking this seriously,” he snapped. “The Luxton and District Motor Traction Company has to comply with all environmental legislation and we’re going for an ISO 14001 in environmental management, which is why we’re switching to electric vehicles. We need to reduce our pollution, improve the company’s reputation, and attract the right sort of contracts from organisations that expect us to do our bit to comba

Pete closed the lid of his laptop and looked glumly at Sue. “I thought we’d get some peace and quiet now they’ve all moved out, but they’re ALL coming back for Christmas…,” he said. “Lovely!” Sue replied. “Lovely? Where are they all going to sleep?” Pete asked. “They’ll have to stay in their old bedrooms,” Sue said, stirring the pot of pasta sauce on the stove. “In those single beds? With their partners? And Jake has the baby…and there’s your sister…,” Pete put his head in hi

Ernie strode through the theatre and stood in front of the stage. He turned around to face Eric. “This is the perfect place for the play what I wrote!” he said, beaming. Eric pushed up his glasses. “Technically, it’s the pantomime what you wrote…oh yes it is!” he replied. Ernie nodded: “Glenda Jackson’s signed on to play the Wicked Stepmother, and I’ve asked Andre Previn to play Buttons…” Eric laughed: “Mr Preview! And Angela Rippon is a high-kicking Fairy Godmother…all your

David Brent sighed and patted down the lapels of his suit jacket. Another day in Mega Electronics and just a few days before Black Friday. He stared into the camera: “It’s always busy this time of year, with people buying new TVs and PS5s and food mixers before Christmas. But we’re always ready in this store. “We’re like one big organism, one big animal, yeah? The guys upstairs in the office on the phone, they're the mouth. The guys down here on the sales floor, the han

Jackie put the jumper in her basket and thought: “Adam will love this. Now, where do I find the baby clothes for my new grandchildren?” She caught sight of herself beaming with pride in the nearby mirror…then saw a familiar face behind her. “Hello Jackie. You look nice,” Jim said. Taken aback, Jackie turned to her neighbour and replied: “Oh, hello Jim. Fancy seeing you here…” “Fancy seeing me here…” he said. After an awkward silence, Jackie said: “Doing a spot of Christmas sh

How Miranda met Mango: a retail romantic comedy Miranda stumbled through the front door of her joke shop, pulled herself up and grinned at Stevie. “Oops! Nearly fell into the whoopie cushions!” Stevie smiled back, grabbed her cardboard cutout of Heather Small, and started to sing… “What have you done today, to make you feel prooooooud?” Miranda said: “Good morning, then?” Stevie nodded: “Sold 25 light-up Santas to Mr Brown, the manager of the local care home.”

Crowley sighed and looked at all the piles of books in Aziraphale’s book shop. “How can you work like this? There’s paper everywhere!” Crowley said, gesturing around him. Aziraphale smiled weakly. “It’s my business!” he replied. Crowley snorted. “When was the last time you sold a book?” Aziraphale shifted uncomfortably. “1942,” he replied. Crowley laughed. “More book collection storage than shop, then!” Aziraphale sighed. “Now we’ve prevented the Apocalypse, I have no excuse,

PC Reg Deadman ran into the pub and shouted: “Put that light out!” Phoebe ran to the window and adjusted the blackout. “Sorry Reg! It slipped. Won’t happen again!” Reg smiled. “I know, but I’ve got to treat you and Gary like everyone else. Being an ARP warden in the evenings is such a responsibility!” Gary looked up from his newspaper. “It is, Reg. It would help if buildings had better fire precautions, wouldn’t it?” Reg smiled: “It would, Gary! What sort of precautions do th

Diles Price shouted at her son Norman: “Norman Price! How many times have I told you not to keep that fire door open? You can take that doorstop away right now!” Norman sighed: “But it’s a pain carrying everything in and out of our new flat, Mam! It takes twice as long to do anything!” Dilys opened the window and shouted down into the street where Fireman Sam, Elvis, and the Station Officer were clearing up after a training session. “Sam, can you come up here and talk some se

Simon Casey put the file down on the desk and looked at the school secretary. “Come on, Liz, we all know you really run things in Summerdown Comprehensive. How many of these health and safety inspection firms do I really need to fill in and file? I don’t believe I need to do ten of each!” Liz grinned: “I’m sorry, Simon, but each head of department, each deputy head, the head, myself, and the LEA all need a copy. I appreciate it’s a lot of work, but I know that a man of your t

The headteacher stared across his desk and smiled. “No, Mr Wickers, I don’t think my cousin’s computer support company is failing Abbey Grove School,” he said. “It’s just teething problems!” Alfie Wickers sighed. “We’ve had no internet access for three weeks! How am I supposed to teach Class K history if I can’t access Wikipedia?” he said. Mr Fraser replied: “Books?” Alfie snorted: “Do you think the pupils of Class K read books?” Mr Fraser sighed: “OK, fair point, but I’ve g

Gordon Brittas strode into Whitbury New Town Leisure Centre, polishing the door handle gently as he passed through it. “We can’t be too careful with cleanliness, Carole…,” he said, walking over to reception. “No, Mr Brittas,” said Carole. He clasped his hands behind his back, and pushed out his chest. On his blazer was a Team GB crest from the 2012 Olympics. “I’ll never forget my time coaching Britain’s elite athletes,” he said, wistfully. “Whenever the Olympics com

Julia stomped over to the Green Man car park. Liz and Kevin were waiting with their children. “I don’t have much time,” she told them. “This events organiser role has me running around site all day, putting out fires and solving problems. I’m exhausted. ”She pulled out a plastic folder and handed it to Kevin. “Here are the VIP passes and an itinerary for you,” she added. Kevin gushed: “That’s brilliant, Julia. You’re just so good at this!” Julia shook her head. “If it wasn’t

Michelle and James pushed open the school door and ran into the corridor to meet Clare, Orla, and Erin. “Did you get them?” Michelle asked. Erin looked glum. “Well?” Michelle asked. Erin broke into a smile. “Yes, I got the tickets! We’re going to Glastonbury! Orbital, Lenny Kravitz, Stereo MCs! Boys!” Erin shouted as she and all the group jumped up and down. “What the heck will we tell our Mas? They don’t even like it if we go to Belfast,” Orla asked, before putti

Desmond Ambrose looked wistfully at the sign above his Peckham barber shop. “Who would have thought that 40 years on, we’re about to sell our barber shop franchise with 27 outlets in the UK and the Caribbean?” he said. His wife Shirley smiled at him: “Desmond, it’s high time to retire. You built the business up from this one shop in Peckham to something you can be proud of. It’s helped the children and grandchildren get an education and set them up in their own careers.”