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Margot pulled on her rubber gloves and started to separate the recycling. Barbara peered over the fence. “You have a lot of plastic recycling there, Margot,” she said. Margot nodded. “Yes, far too much. Some of it can go back to Fortnum and Mason for recycling, but I watched that David Attenborough series recently and even I’m worried about the amount of plastic in our seas,” Margot replied. “I’ve a mind to write to Fortnum’s Chairman to ask him to do something urgently about

Wolfie Smith adjusted his beret and pulled on his coat. “Shirl! I’m off to my meeting…” he shouted. Shirley emerged from the kitchen. “Our Flo said she’d meet you there,” Shirley replied. Wolfie groaned. “How many times do I have to tell her? The Tooting Popular Front is not the forum for her little recycling project. We have a revolution to plan!” Shirley sighed. “Saving the planet is hardly a little recycling project, Wolfie. Besides, she’s your granddaughter. That apple di

Kryten looked up miserably at the monitor. The Cat shrugged and danced out of the control room. Rimmer smirked. Dave Lister sighed. “Look, Kryten, this is ancient Earth history we’re watching. It has nothing to do with us or Red Dwarf…” Rimmer smirked again: “Oh, I don’t know. The Earth Day target was for a reduction in plastics production of 60% by the year 2040. Of course, it took us a little while longer than that, but we achieved it! “So how come Kryten here is 62% plasti

Compro stood outside the cafe, leaning against a wall. Foggy and Clegg walked towards the door. “You go in there at your peril,” Compo said, with a knowing nod. “Sid and Ivy are at each other’s throats again. I fear for his safety, and ours, if we go in there.” Clegg looked startled. “I’m gasping for my mid-morning tea and one of Ivy’s toasted tea cakes,” he said. “I’m not sure I can last until dinner time.” Foggy huffed. “We’ve seen it a hundred times before. It’s hardly new

Audrey sighed and looked out of the window over the rolling fields of the Grantleigh Estate. “Richard, we’ve been married long enough for me to know that there’s something on your mind,” she said. ‘Richard DeVere, you’re up to something,” she thought. She smiled at him and picked up her cup of morning coffee. “The coffee hasn’t been the same since Brabinger left us, has it?” she asked. Richard shook his head. “No, it hasn’t. He is sorely missed.” Audrey nodded. “Out with it,

Mateo poured the cocktail into the young woman’s glass. “This is my speciality” he said. His boss at the Solana Hotel, Benidorm, Joyce Templeton-Savage, walked up to the bar and tutted. “The new owners will be clamping down on that sort of thing, Mateo,” she said. “What sort of thing?” Mateo asked. “Flirting with guests,” Joyce replied. Mateo laughed: “Joyce, that was not flirting.” Mateo took her hand, kissed it, and winked at her. “This is flirting!” Joyce pulled her hand

Gladys Pugh leaned into the microphone and breathed: “Hello campers. Hi de hi!” All around the Maplin’s campsite the reply rang out: “Ho de ho!” Gladys tapped the microphone and said: “Today, our entertainment will begin after lunch as our entertainment staff are undertaking important training to keep you safe. “Please join us at the pool at 2.30pm for the knobbliest knees competition hosted by our own Ted Bovis followed by the children’s swimming club gala, then a poolside e

CJ glanced at Reggie Perrin and shook his head. “I didn’t get where I am today without a royal warrant!” he shouted. Reggie winced. “Well, CJ, I’m afraid that when a monarch dies, the royal warrants don’t just roll over into the next monarch’s reign,” Reggie explained. “The new one likes to have their say in these matters. “There’s a new application process and lots of hoops about product quality that have to be jumped through. So, we can’t put the royal coat of arms on Suns

Steve Finch pointed the camera at his smiling family. Well, all smiling except his teenage daughter Madison who was scowling and had spent the last hour refusing to put on her matching Christmas sweater with a huge snowman’s nose. “We failed miserably last year, so this year’s Christmas card has to be really special!” he shouted. Last year had been a nightmare. Trying to take the picture then being upstaged by Buddy’s ‘reindeer’ drawn sleigh. Ending up in a frozen lake

Howard Langston winced when he remembered his wife’s harsh words… “You promised him a Turbo-Man 2 toy! Why didn’t you order one on Cyber Monday or go out and get it on Black Friday? Jamie’s going to be so disappointed…Didn’t you learn anything last year?” Last year had involved a desperate last-ditch scramble to find a Turbo-Man at any shop he could, and he get it before that Myron Larabee. He’d had to admit his mistakes to his family then his son saved the day when he gave t

Katarina handed the tourist a nativity-themed music box. “This one plays Deck the Halls, you’ll love it!” she said. The tourist smiled and went to Santa at the till. “That will be £35,” Santa said, without a flicker. Hmm, Katarina thought, that music box was £30 last week… Santa smiled as the tourist left and the shop bell sounded. She turned to Katarina. “I know what you’re thinking, but we need to put the prices up. Our costs have gone up so much…” Katarina sighed. Santa wa

Christmas Mango Mango Compliance Wizards Harry Potter Hogwarts

“She’s a legend now,” the woman whispered as Rita O’Grady walked past. “She blew her whistle, shouted ‘all out’, and out we went. Without...

If your role is managing compliance for your organisation, how easy is it for you to hand things over when you go on annual leave? ​...