Getting schools ready for the new year is a Mammoth task!

Tony Mammoth stepped out of his Ford Capri, took off his aviator sunglasses, and looked at the school’s main reception door.

His head of department Lucy was waiting just outside.

“Are we getting overtime for this?” he asked as he waked into the building.

“I should be soaking up the sun in Benidorm.  I spent decades frozen in a block of ice in the alps after that avalanche, so I deserve it. I should be in a costa enjoying a pitcher of sangria and a Frederick Forsyth paperback. You don’t want to know what I should be doing this evening, but it involves a brow and lash specialist from the Wirral.”

Lucy sighed: “You’re right, I don’t want to know. And this pre-term preparation for the new year is all part of your contract. You should have read it before signing it.”

Mammoth humphed: “Well, we never did this back in the 1970s…”

Lucy pointed to his shirt and said: “You know, there are also lots of things people did in the 1970s that we don’t do now. Like wearing that medallion. Welcome to 2025/26!”

She swiped on her tablet and said: “All of the departments, including PE, are carrying out detailed risk assessments before the new school term to make sure we comply with health and safety regulations, environmental rules, that sort of thing. Plus, we have the new Martyn’s Law regulations coming into effect soon as it’s now law.”

Mammoth nodded: “That’s the anti-terror legislation named after the Manchester Arena bombing victim Martyn Hett, isn’t it?”

Lucy looked surprised: “Didn’t think you’d have a clue about that one!”

Mammoth looked offended: “I watch the news! We’ll need to have adequate staff training and a detailed plan for the worst case, won’t we?”

Lucy nodded: “We will. This is a big school with several different blocks, so we’ll also need a good communications plan.”

She walked into the gym and looked around: “Checking off the things in this list is going to take all day.”

Mammoth smiled: “We should split up and get it done more quickly…”

Lucy looked suspicious: “So you can slope off to the staff room and finish reading ‘The Day of the Jackal’ while I do all the work?”

Mammoth grinned: “Would I? I was planning on a visit to the kettle to make you a cuppa before we start. Don’t want you thinking I expect a woman to make all the tea. It’s not 1979 any more.”

Lucy smiled: “Great idea. I’ll come with you…make sure you don’t get lost in the science block.”

Mammoth sighed: “Isn’t this all going to end up in a mountain of extra paperwork?”

Lucy shook her head: “Nope, it’s all in the cloud…”

Mammoth shrugged.

She went on: “It’s all online in the tablet here. We have online compliance software that keeps all our records and allows us to access them wherever there’s an internet connection.”

Mammoth nodded: “Great. I LOVE dealing with computers. They don’t make me want to throw them out of windows at all!”

Lucy laughed: “You’ll love Mango…”

Mammoth shrugged again: “I do, as it happens. In my sangria…”

Lucy replied: “Mango’s the name of the online compliance software. Not the fruit.”

Mammoth sighed: “Milk and two sugars?”

Lucy shook her head: “Soya milk and no sugar.”

Mammoth sighed again, and started thinking about how real milk used to be delivered to the doorstep…and what did blue tits do in the mornings now they can’t pinch the milk?

• Find out how Mango’s online compliance software could help your school. Book a free demonstration which will be delivered via Zoom. We can help you with a Martyn’s Law assessment, too. Call Penarth Management on 029 2070 3328 or email info@penarth.co.uk

• Need information on Martyn’s Law? Take a look at the programme of free seminars from our sister company The Protect Alliance: Events | The Protect Alliance (UK)