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Even Fawlty Towers is getting ready for the new Martyn’s Law

Sybil held the phone to her ear and said: “Ooh, I know!”

At reception, Basil winced.

“I KNOW! Ooh, yes, I know!” Sybil said again. Then, she laughed. Basil gritted his teeth.

“I know you’re awfully busy in there, my sweet, but could you just pass me the new register so that our guest can sign it?”

Basil smiled unnervingly at the guest.

Sybil sighed and said: “Yes, I’ll call you next week. I have to go. Goodbye now!”

She put down the phone and picked up the register, opening it and smiling at the guest as she handed it to him.

“There you are, sir, I hope you have a delightful stay with us.”

Basil continued putting the new guest’s suitcases in Manuel’s hands.

“Off you go, Manuel, show this gentleman to room 12.”

Manuel nodded: “Si.”

He led the new guest up the stairs, stumbling with the suitcases.

Basil turned to his wife. “Your mother, was it? How is the Bride of Frankenstein?”

Sybil said: “Pardon!”

Basil replied: “I said ‘how is the dear old thing?’ Really, my dearest, you should get your ears checked!”

Sybil looked suspiciously at him and said: “It wasn’t my mother. It was Jodie at Penarth Management.”

Basil shrugged: “Who?”

Sybil sighed: “The consultants we’re working with to get ready for Martyn’s Law.”

Basil shrugged again: “Come again?”

Sybil threw up her hands: “Oh come on, Basil, we’ve talked about this several times. It’s the new legislation aimed at helping to protect the public from terrorist attacks and it’s going to affect holiday businesses like ours.”

Basil replied: “ I must have not been listening to your dulcet tones for just a second, dear…”

Sybil picked up her nail file.

“The consultants are looking at what we need to do, from getting risk assessments and ensuring staff are security trained to having an effective communication system in the event of an attack.”

Basil looked stunned.

“This is Torquay, my sweet, how much risk can there be?”

Sybil filed her nails patiently.

“You’d be surprised, Basil. Besides, the new law gives different sized venues different responsibilities, so we wouldn’t have the same level of duty as an arena, for example.”

Basil leaned on the counter: “Glad to hear it! Is all this extra training and paperwork going to clog up the office, there? That’s a fire hazard, isn’t it?”

Sybil shook her head.

“No, it will all be in the cloud…”

Basil snapped: “What? In the cloud? In the ether?”

Sybil shook her head again.

“No, the cloud computer storage, accessible from wherever there’s an internet connection. I could check the records from the 19th hole!”

She walked into the back room.

Basil humphed.

“Fantastic. More excuse for you to spend time at the golf club…”

Sybil shouted: “What was that?”

Basil replied: “Fantastic idea, darling. What’s this online compliance software called?”

She shouted back: “Mango!”

Basil shouted: “Of course it is! Mango!”

Manuel appeared on the stairs and said: “Que?”

Basil sighed: “Not you! Mango!”

Manuel nodded: “Ah, si. We gave this a lot in Spain for breakfast. I will get this at the market…”

Basil sighed.

“Fantastic,” he said.


You can find out more about Martyn’s Law (the Terrorism (Protection of premises) Bill) here:


Find out how Mango’s online compliance software benefits your holiday business. Book a free demonstration which will be delivered via Zoom. We can help you achieve the ISOs you need, too. Call Penarth Management on 029 2070 3328 or email

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